Adams Oshiomole & Lara Fortes: How it concerns me!

Adams Oshiomole & Lara Fortes: How it concerns me!

There is definitely something interesting about the union of Governor Adams Oshiomhole of Edo State and his younger gorgeous bride- former Miss Lara Fortes. This explains why it has been trending on social media in the last 24 hours. Different people have talked about it, some joked about it and others applaud it.

Iara-Fortes

For mrsceonaija, we got inspiration to share a few lessons from it. Permit us to look at their wedding from another angle!  What did Lara see In Adams? ‘What should a woman look for in a man of her dreams?’

How does a woman know that her suitor will support her dreams and aspirations? What should a woman watch out for when choosing her mate?

  1. Total Love and understanding: It is important that the foundation of the home is based on love and not other interests such as money, fame, job security, political influence. A woman must decide to live with the man who truly loves and understands her. If you are a feisty lady, do not act docile around him. Let him see you for who you truly are. If you are a talkative, then he must love listening and understand you just can’t stop talking.
  1. His purpose, your calling! Before you say I do, you must understand the man’s purpose and ensure your own does not conflict. Example if the man is one that dreams of relocating abroad and you are a ‘naija to the core advocate’, this will become a source of misunderstanding very shortly as you may not be able to relocate happily with him abroad. If your man is looking actively into politics, then you must be prepared to be a great host and understand his absence and travels. Know his purpose, know his vision, and check if yours will not be trampled within his. You 2 need to become a GIANT STRONGER 1. 
  1. The usual red flags- selfish, possessive, insecure, unambitious, lazy, ‘the man’!

Be real with yourself, if any man displays many of the listed traits, it is unlikely he will push you to fly.  This doesn’t mean he is a bad person per se. He is just not the one for an ambitious woman.

  • A lazy and un-ambitious man lacks his own personal drive, how can he empower you?
  • A possessive man may want you to pound yam for him every 2pm and serve him straight from the mortar to his plate at the expense of any and everything. ( I know a couple like this) How will you attend client meetings?  He will decide who can be your friend or not. What kind of job you can or cannot do. How will you shine?
  • An insecure man will feel threatened when your business or career booms even if his own is doing twice as well. How do you expect him to encourage you to give your best?
  • ‘The man’ may expect you to stay at home fully with no other pursuits- not even part time jobs, not even part time schooling, not even a small home business, not even friends or family. You exist to serve him only.

4.  He is the one. Lastly, you must know that people rarely change drastically after a certain age. You must be sure he is the one AS HE IS.  The one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, when there is money or when there is no money. That you can live with his flaws (remember, he may not change), that you love his strengths, that he inspires you, that you complement him. That your faith is in harmony. That he is the one for you and you for him.

For the newly wedded- Mr & Mrs Oshiomole, we wish you all the best and hope you made the decision that you truly believe in.

For their critics, please read the article and keep it in your left palm so you can choose correctly.  If you have already chosen your partner, good luck with yours 🙂

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